I Need a Lover Not a Friend Tonight

When I first moved away from home, from the lovely Merseyside down to London four years ago, i found it quite isolating. Fearing if i went home too soon my homesickness would get worse, i didn't go home until a day or so before Christmas and as i drove off the motorway into Liverpool, The Wombat's 'Let's Dance to Joy Division' came on the radio. I was so happy and excited I was singing/screaming along and bouncing about the car and i guess i kind of realised the North West was still there, it hadn't gone anywhere and as much as I was missing out on the day to day shit in my friends' lives, it didn't really matter and nothing was really changing without me. When I went back to London in the New Year I bought the A Guide to Love Loss & Desperation album, and everytime I listened to it, i remembered all the revolting drunken nights with my friends, falling down the stairs at the Kray, dancing like an idiot in Le Bateau, the annual attempt to climb the christmas tree on church st (you get the picture).

Anyway it's coming up to that time of year again, when i get excited about going home and listening to the Wombats still plays a part in that excitement. I've been listening to '1996' pretty much on repeat and i love it. so much so i did a little picture. I would usually block in colour after doing the line work, but i think i like this better plain like this. less is more? god knows, i'm still quite drunk and starving hungry so maybe i just cba colouring it haha.

Still Hoping Tomorrow Feels Like This My Perfect Day

ok, so this blog is usually me doodling and whinging about how crappy my life is right? wrong. Today has genuinely been the BEST DAY IN MY LIFE.

FIRST

I got a lovely tweet from Ohh Deer who have just opened their new shop informing me they are going to send me a little prize because of all the tweeting i've been doing! how nice is that!

SECOND

My entry for Creature Mag's Moustache Illustration Awards has been put up on their website here

THIRD

I've got an internship with Tatty Devine doing PR and social media! I start on Monday and I'm super super super excited. like so excited i might burst.

It's so much easier to work when you feel happy and merry and bright, and in fact i am working on some fashion ill's for Illustration Rally's current competition. BOOM TING.

I'm Trying to Find the Words to Say, to Make You Feel Much Better Fay.

Creature Mag is running a competition about moustaches, and it got me thinking about "us great uncle Tommy wot died on the Titanic". For years I thought this was one of my father's drunken tales, a mixture of speculation and hyperbole based around a small grain of fact. Imagine my surprise when last year I read an article about the Titanic and decided to google Thomas Fay, my great-great-uncle. Turns out, Tommy had worked as a greaser onboard and like most of the below deck crew, drowned and his body was never found. I did loads of research after finding this out, until i realised there were lots of creepy people trying to add my family into their family tree, and even creepier that there are Titanic fanatics out there that had been to photograph my family's grave. NO, REALLY! How weird do you have to be to go off looking at other people's graves?

Anyway this drawing is based on a photo I found of Tommy that had been photocopied about a thousand times from a newspaper cutting at the time of the disaster. Needless to say the quality is dreadful, but you can make out his impressive moustache and how he was photographed with his pipe in his hand.

I Can Hear the Sleigh Bells Coming Round the Bend

Is it too early for a christmas post? I don't know, i tried asking my twitterites earlier but there doesn't seem to be anyone about, and vast rumors of it being down so meh.

Anyway, I've realised it's time to get cracking on getting my christmas cards ready, or i'll never bloody do them. Next weekend i should be shooting the photos for my 'adult' cards (grown up, not XXXX), but while i'm waiting for the cast and props to be ready, i decided to get going on the cards for my niecphews.

I think I'm finally overcoming my domestic violence style relationship with Illustrator, but I could be kidding myself. While my housemates are bemused by me screaming obscenities as i work, I'm beginning to worry that once i get a 'real job' my future colleagues won't be impressed. I wouldn't Anyway i drew a snowflake and then worked the kids names into each one so they get their own personalised card.

Home, Let Me Come Home, Home is Wherever I'm With You

.Our little house is nearly full, as in a few days Emily will be coming to live with us! I don;t know how long our home will be reet, as Dan is being offered a real job and is going to move to some shithole that isn't living with us :( but for at least a short while we shall be a little family <3we shall be having a houseshindig to celebrate our togetherness. I want to get this printed as a poster for our living room.

Graveyard Smash

It's Halloween weekend(!) my favourite event of the year. I love all things horror and goffting so Halloween is the perfect mix for me. Oh and i really love a bit of craft and fancy dress so seriously, most fun for me. I started Halloween a bit early this week as i made a skull pinata for my friend Sylwia's party. Yesterday my housemate Fearghal, who is a very talented fashion designer, and i watched horror films and carved pumpkins for the party, of course drinking heavily and getting ready for the party.

I also went on to my friend and fellow illustrator Quim's party and am now faced with having to attempt to detangle my hair with is backcombed, crimped and hairsprayed within a inch of it's life. I didn't even use normal hairspray like Elnet that can be brushed out, i used Tigi Catwalk stuff which is like vapourised superglue. I think i might have to shave my head.

A while ago Cornelia O'Donovan a printmaker and illustrator who was an artist in residence at my university told me that when she was in an art funk, she got herself out of it by doing a sketchbook a day. I'm not going that craycray but i am trying to do a bit more sketching and doodling, hense the Bride of Frankenstein scratching. I love the styling of the film, and my costume this year was inspired by it. Oh and i'm knitting a ridiculously complicated cardigan, which i might have finished in like 8 winters time GAH. Yet i still have time to watch an entire season of NCIS in one day, hmmmm. Amazing me.

.You've Got the Blues in Your Shoes and Your Stockings.

About a year ago, i was asked to join one of those 'What I Wore Today' sites. Someone had seen this blog and thought i would be an interesting person to follow sartorially, and they wanted me to do some Beta testing and all that caboodle. Now, anyone who knows me in real life knows i am the last person ANYONE in their right mind would look to for fashion advice, and unsurprisingly the thought of photographing my hideous outfit choices (which range from Kings Cross Prostitute to the full on Tramp Slag) EVERYDAY filled me with horror and i turned down the offer (actually i deleted the emails they kept sending me and pretended it wasn't happening).

Anyway, anyone who follows me on twitter will know i regularly refer to myself as looking like various 80s icons. I myself am not iconic, but i do have pretty big hair. Since winter is drawing in, i have been unleashing my leopard fur coat on the North London public. The term 'pimpin' was invented for this coat, and the past few weeks it has been making me feel particularly Marc Bolan-esque. So much so i seem to have a Jagger pout permanently stuck to my face.

So, for anyone who wonders, this is how i Bolan-ed my way around today. I looked particularly glam rock as i spent most of this morning testing crimpers for my halloween hair. And i have since learned, you can't 'brush out' crimped hair.

In other news, I'm getting WELL HALLOWEEEEEEENED BOI! so keep an eye on my flickr for some banging photos YEAHHHHH?

(oh yeah, when you do this shit you're meant to tell people what you're wearing so they can be you right??

boots- ox blood 'Mardy' by Caterpillar

tights- coloured stocking effect by Primark

shorts- high waisted black denim hotpants by Primark

top - white tee by New Look

coat- leopard fur by Topshop

there, do i look like enough of a twat now?)

Sugar and Spice, Screaming is Nice

So this weekend was the baptism of my niece Ella. I embroidered her a little naming sampler, like a modernised cross-stitch sampler, and helped my mum make her cake. Unfortunately the piping on the top looks pretty shoddy but i was having icing issues. On the whole tho, i like it, and the cake itself was pink sponge with mascapone and fresh raspberries nom nom nom!

Anyway, it was a lovely day, saw all my wonderful fam and got some faboosh pictures of them, which are, of course, on my flickr>>>>>>>>

. a long time ago.

.despite my constant bitching about the trials and tribulations of having to be an adult, i still manage to do doodles like this. actually i've been looking at type for about 3 hours while working on a little project for my niece's christening, so i felt the need to do something with a bit more hand eye coordination. i very drunkedly promised to draw my housemate dan a picture of him as princess Leia seducing jabba the hut if he came home (he is currently in the country with a poorly foot). Unfortunately he is still not home, but i did a wee scrawl anyway, in the hope it will remind him how much he loves living with us.

.Hello, I Love You.

.oh hi. just so you know i'm still here, and i'm still alive. i'm just busy. unfortunately, not so much in the 'i've got so much work to do and i'm raking it in' but more like the mundane business of trying to be a functioning human being. but i have done some nice things, like going to Jaggedart Gallery in Marylebone to see an exhibition featuring my cousin Rachael Clewlow and her boy Nick Kennedy. They're both extremely talented, and it was really good to see their work in a gallery environment. The exhibition has finished now but you have have a look at some of the work that was on show here.

Other exciting things that are happening in my life are we finally got real internet. real, high speed, working, broadband. it's a miracle, although i did spend about 72 hours just catching up on american tv. I'm getting a bit fed up of my hair and am contemplating a Nicola Roberts pink toned ginger, circa 2008. Cons are that i would have to strip my hair, bleach it, and only then dye it. Pros are it would be easier to cover up my exponentially expanding grey hair, and i might look slightly less like a angry scouse. We shall see. Anyway i'm so obsessed with my own face i've done another doodle of myself. but with a fucking awful background that i managed to drop in and save in by accident. i do like the texture on the leather tho, so swings and round a bouts.

Burning All the Photographs of You

well well well, i have been off out of circulation again, basically doing portfolio stuffs and things like that. well today i decided to give in another step into complete internet synchronisation, buy opening a flickr account. i'd been at Sefton Park taking some photos, and it seemed like a bit of a waste to have them sitting around on my old memory cip so i thought lets flash my clickity click skills on the web.

SO you can now stalk me;

here, on flickr,

here, on my website,

here, on twitter,

here, on my vimeo,

and of course here, on blogger.

if you don't want to do that, you can always look of this pretty picture i took of Tottenham burning down last weekend. The riots were great, cos there's nothing quite like trying to get to sleep with a police helicopter hovering over your house and the threat of being firebombed to really ensure some good dreaming...

.You Drive Me Crazy.

.Well, long time no speaky. aside from general mania, my laptop again decided to ruin my life by self destructing. this time the hard drive went, and i lost everything, which, of course, i hadn't backed up.

.More importantly, my dole has been sorted out so as well as job hunting i can now properly hunt for an internship, as the lovely government are going to keep subsidising me as long as i continue to hound design agencies around london with my cv, portfolio, cover notes and dna samples.

.hmm other news, I'm working on a few bits that might lead to some work or jobs. I'm not particulary hopeful but it's good to be in the running for things, and in reality it's a lot better to be working on proper briefs, than just 'doing pretty pictures'. Anyway here's a doodle i did while working on one of these. As you can see, I am still in a pastel mood. I don't think i have anything else to waffle on about.

.See Emily Play.

Today is my friend Emily's birthday, so i done a little picture an that. bangin'.

.Nobody Knows But I've Got Boss Powers.

wozers two posts in one day, i must have lots of important things like cleaning the house to do.... hmm. anyway a couple of years ago i had a big thing about making modern versions of traditional tattoos. i love sailor jerry and 40s/50s dockers tattoos, but as someone whose experiences of boating are mostly running riot on the Mersey Ferry when the trains are off, they're not always terribly relevant to me. i think i might revisit this, and did a bit of a doodle while i was thinking about it. If i take these further i'll hand draw them and ink them up with a bit of collage for good luck.

.also i've been listening to Dick Limerick Academy all day. you can download two of their albums off http://dicklimerickacademy.bandcamp.com/ although i will admit, you might not appreciate it if you're not a scouser.

.We Belong In the Gutter Singing.

.blah blah job hunting blah blah blah. there is nothing more soul destroying than filling in all the shoddy jobs you've worked and all the repetitive shit about what makes you stand out OVER AND OVER AGAIN. also i think it's very hard to 'sell yourself' without sounding like a massive dick. "haw haw my names Tarquin and i'm ruddy brilliant guffawww". when i am rich and famous and run my own design agency, it's going to be like Sugar Ape offices in Nathan Barley. Well, maybe not quite like that, but i certainly wont hire people based on their cv.

First they will be asked to come prepared with biscuits. The standard of the biscuits will be the first indication of whether they are the 'right sort of person' to work for me. Party biscuits are a thumbs up, Digestives are a thumbs down. Dead Fly biscuits (garibaldi) are borderline. I think that's a perfectly sensible way to run a business. Actually my design agency is begining to sound more like Doug Rockets office. hmm. Maybe there's a reason people actually request CVs.

Anyway, did a little doodle and that. I was listening to some Ash and thinking about when i was young *sigh*. Now i am just HAGGARD. my skin looks like some ravaged landscape. except less poetic. Perhaps i should colour coordinate more like i did when i was a teenager. or dye my hair candyfloss again.

.I could say something educated and well thought out about the catch 22 of agencies looking for people with 2 years experience, and how they think you gain this magical 2year figure when no one will hire graduates, but to be frank, i'm a bit tired and very hungry. i've had a week of over the top wii fit-ing (no, really) and i think my body thinks it's going to starve to death unless i inhale a bar of dairy milk each evening.

.Devine Comedy.

.So I have loved Tatty Devine for over 5 years now, that's like more than half a decade! After fawning over their wares for some time, my dear friend Christine and I made a deal to buy each other a name necklace for our respective 'big' birthdays. For her 21st i got Christine hers with a star, in the quality sweet mirrored purple, and for my 18th she gave me a gorgeous hot pink 'Zoe' with a heart. Since then i have rammed my jewellery box with beautiful things, like the enamel swallow earrings, the Tate 'Artstar' necklace and the trapeze necklace which are among my top faves. Now i have taken another step to owning their entire store, and bought a lucky dip box. I love my prizes so much i did a little pic to show you just how cute my stuff is :)

What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play.

Well i am finally getting a bit of rest and getting up to date after the frantic putting together of my degree show! The industry preview was on Thursday and it opened yesterday with a private view for family and friends. I cleverly didn't bring a camera (i don't hugely like photos of myself unless i'm revoltingly drunk) but i have thieved some of me off facebook. The exhibition has been a massive success, and if you want to catch it it's running tomorrow and Monday, 10am-7pm in the Truman Brewery in Brick Lane. The entrance is on Hanbury St. and features work from illustration, sonic arts, fashion, graphics, fine art and jewellery students (or should that be graduates now?). There's definitely something for everyone so if you're local, check it out!

.Horry Potter and the Philosopher's Schlong.

.What do you get a girl for her very most special 20th birthday? You knit her a Harry Potter make-up bag of course. I don't know what else you would expect?

.Won't Fool the Children of the Revolution.

.My littlest nephew Solomon is a little over 2 now, and it's time for him to get out there and earn his keep. He's quite taken with the building trade so i've made him a little business card so he can start drumming up trade.

.Wild Horses, Couldn't Drag Me Away.

.just a little drawing from another animation in the same series. this is the punchline of the short, if i get it rendered in time i might put it up. but anyway, i quite like the picture, so here goes. also i applied for a job today at the tate. i really really really want it. but we shall see what happens i guess :(.

.Empire State of Mind.

Well the imbeciles at blogger have yet to reinstate my previous post (it's not over yet) and i am beginning to think it will never return. but here, have a little pic of the empire state building for your troubles. it's a piece from an animation i'm frantically trying to do before my assessments on monday, which themselves have been screwed up by the useless turd that runs reprographics being on the sick. i am a bucket of ire these days.

.It's Not Over, Not Over, Not Over, Yet.

.and it will never be over.... well, in fact uni might as well be over on Monday when the assessments for my ENTIRE DEGREE begin. oh shit on it. i've been in uni for 10 1/2 hours today and i feel braindead, but i will get some relentless and carry on. i've got so much to do and only 3 days to do it in. WHY DO I DO IT TO MYSELFFFFFFF. anyway i didn't just come here to whinge. i also wanted to pop up some end papers i made today for a little book about jam. i could put the rest of the book up but i can't really be arsed etc.etc.etc. but in reality the endpapers are possibly the nicest thing about it. i might just go into making wallpaper. cos i'd love this as a wallpaper. in the kitchen, with bright orange and pink units. and black tiles and worktops. (yes, i've been reading home improvement magazines today, and no, i don't have any taste).

.i just want your kiss, boy.

.well this evening i finally launched my website! it's http://www.zoeyeah.com ! the excitement. it's not perfect, but i like the simplicity of it, and i think it looks quite me. i think it might need some colour in the future, as i'm beginning to ACTUALLY like colour! what is this? and what's with all the exclamation marks. shudder. it must be because i'm tired and have a headache cos i've lost my glasses. and i seemingly got very scouse writing that because my mind went through goggles/gigs/bins before i even got to the word glasses. Anyhu i'm going to stay up a bit longer, as my dear friend Sofia that is currently living with me while we househunt, is on her way back from work so we are going to have bagels before bed. and they're gonna look like this. now that's romance.

.Universally Speaking I Win in the Long Run.

.Another day, another television based doodle. I have nothing else in my life, I am a lonely old hag that has nothing better to do than watch tv and eat mexican food. I understand why Van Gogh cut off his ear. He didn't even have Wonders of the Universe.

NSFW

.100% not safe for work, or children. This is just a little doodle i did for my friend Dan, of him and his 3 favourite ladies, Daisy Steiner, Twist and Marsha (Spaced). I'm so crude.

.The Only Way is Essex.

.like, oh my god honey, all i've done today really is like, watch towie cos i had like two episodes to catch up on. well want to go faces tonight babes.

.Here's a Letter for You, but the Words get Confused.

.Well well well, there's not be any drawing or cutting & sticking to talk about today, but if you are observant you will see my profile picture has changed a little bit, in accordance with my new lavender/grey fringe. It's a little bit like when Rogue from X Men gets old and decides to have a granny rinse. Anyway the main reason for this ramble is so you can follow me on twitter! The beautiful, talented, amazing (etc.) @AmyLestrange encouraged me into this tweeting thingy yesterday so i'm gonna give it a go, at least until i start telling people about my bowel functions, then i'll have to reassess. Anyway get over there and follow me http://www.twitter.com/therealZoeYeah. Also just to say, i know 'thereal' is a bit full of myself but some silly bitch has already taken zoeyeah just to fuck with my head and talk about prom. eurgh.

.I Would Die 4 U.

.Chris Bianchi came in today to talk to us about being a grown up and all that artisty stuff, and brought with him edition 5 of Bare Bones. Some of the cover artist, Robert Rubbish's (more links! Jesus!) work has a mexican/dawn of the dead/Adrian Henri theme(don't worry, no more links, you can do your own bloody research). Anyway, it reminded me of some little linocut cards i did last summer. And as an extra treat why not listen to some wonderful Mariachi El Bronx covering Prince! no, really! (just when you thought the links were over....)

.You Spin Me Right Round (Like A.... Cassette?).

i may be the biggest procrastinator in the world, but i can bang this shit out. The uni zine is short of work so i bodged this doodle together in a matter of minutes. Clever much. Theme is vintage so i went for a little 80s memorabilia. Not sure about the wording, perhaps it should have been "play me baby"... oh well, it's this now, and if anyone complains i'll claim English is my second language...

Crack Fox

.Today is my big cousin Helen's birthday, so although i have posted her a card, my relationship with royal mail is not great enough to ensure delivery on the correct day. SO i drew a little birthday picture to fiercebook her with. Anyone who has been to Parc Reynou will know they keep Crack Foxes (aka, Maned Wolves) to amuse adults and scare children. fact.

.Night Shift.

.Well i actually sat here and doodled a little piece of work. Aren't i good. Sort of. Anyway, this is a little image of Siouxsie Sioux, well, her eyes anyway. The text is the lyrics to Night Shift, off the '81(?) album JuJu. Musically, it's beautiful and the lyrics are about Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper, and who doesn't love a serial killer. (this could almost be a HINT for someone to buy me a subscription to the Crime and Investigation Network.)

.You Told Me Once I Made You Smile, We Both Know Damn Well I Didn't.

.Dare i use the word "fanart"? it actually makes me shudder. This however, comes from a polyptych i painted a few years ago. There were twenty or so boards (i only paint on wood, not canvas), each painted with a different body part, that when arranged correctly formed a life size portrait. Each body part was from a different person, and the figure was posed as if on crucifix. I used lots of religious iconography; the right breast wore a rosary, each piece was painted on top of biblical text, all sorts of ridiculous blasphemous stuff. The idea was it would look like some tacky anti-religious shockrock. It's far too easy to be cool through being a bit of a dick. In reality the project was about sight, and seeing how much you can deform an image while still recognising it. I could waffle on about my self-rightous artistic vision, but let's get to the point. This is, of course, a portrait of the stunning Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio. There was significance for choosing him as the face, but the most important thing was i got to paint someone fit. Anyhow i'm rehashing the original painting into a quick submission for Meow, the uni zine (theme idols/icons). God I'm boring. Might actually do something with Siouxsie Sioux in a min tho, or Brody Dalle, who i had almost forgotten about, but will lust after for eternity.

It's a Catch-22 cos the cure is found in you.

.Been working on a colour cover and 4 black and white illustrations for Joseph Heller's AMAZING novel Catch-22. The book is based on an island off the coast of italy during the second world war and features a company of American bombers. The main character, Yossarian wants to be discharged but because he is 'sane' enough to realise he is losing his mind, he is ineligible however no one can be sent home for medical reasons unless they themselves ask. The book focus on this and other paradoxes, and is genuinely one of my favourite books. So much so, it even overcomes my bigotry towards American authors. Anyways still got a shitload of work to do so back to the grindstone it is...

Riding a Sled Down the Hillside, Hillside.

.Well it's been a while, i should be doing more working harder etc.etc.etc. but there's been enough shittyness in my life of recent to make me fall back on getting wasted and getting really fucking wasted. but anyway at least i put a bit of effort in for christmas. the family that crafts together, stays together, and while my beautiful cousin Helen produced some delish quince jam (now who wants to breakfast with me!) and the gorgeous Rachael made me a bookbag out of the most amazing vintage fabric, i cobbled together some hot water bottle covers.

.In fact, speaking of Rachael, you should all go and have a look at some amazing paintings she has been working on with Jack Lowe Studio. They're for a very special project and are looking fantastic>>>> http://jacklowestudio.co.uk/blog/?p=1152